The past 3 weeks have been bad not the worse but it could come close...I constanlty think about my future and myself and the present and a bit of the past...
Then I think of my dream, being in some hills lying on the soft grass with the wind slowly blowing in my face and the heat striking me in the face but on my own away from everything and no worries.

Then reality kicks in and I feel like shit... the past 3 weeks I have not been in to class nor have I really spoke or interacted to anyone unless I passed them in my flat I have just been locked up in my room studying and drawing and just thinking thinking alot about what has become of me and why I have no regrets I just hoped I was in a better situation without these problems.

I'm not being selfish I do know there are other people around the owrld with issues much worse than my own but I'm not them and there not living my life and not sleeping in my bed, paying my rent etc.
I don't know what to do with myself I wake up every morning with some sort of guilt or bordem with life itself and I know there gonna be no quick improvment. I make others happy even tho I barly try to and I can't make myself happy.

I guess I keep on rolling with it untill the next big reaction happens since thats all it is...... a reaction!